The journey began on a cold winter night. It was New Year’s Eve. As the minds of many tend to do, my thoughts began to drift towards ideas of new beginnings and what the new year would hold. The ideas running through my head at the time were more than that though. I found myself in the middle of a period of great uncertainty. The last four years had been a wild ride, most of which seemed to be on a downward trajectory. It was like wandering around in the wilderness. Things I thought I knew, I learned to be wrong. Everything began to be called into question. I don’t know when it was exactly that I first stepped into the rabbit hole, but it was on this night that I chose to go further. It was here that I decided to embrace the adventure no matter where it may lead. As I write this it will be almost five years since that night.
In the time since, I have found myself in many different situations and have encountered all sorts of different people. I have worked to improve my life and have at times done things that only seemed to make it worse. The journey, above all else, is an exploration of existence. It is an adventure of self-discovery. As such, it is not always pleasant. It is not always safe or wise. Sometimes it has been dangerous and quite stupid. It has, however, often been fortunate I suppose.
The journey is far from over. Sometimes I wonder if I have ventured so far down the hole that I may never return, or that I will only become more lost and confused. Perhaps I will only find more questions than answers. I know I can’t go back, only forward. What lies ahead, I have no idea.